You gotta be cruel to be kind! (Exploring Radical Honesty)
Welcome to our weekly #sandboxsummary - In these posts we give you some highlights from the weekend’s sessions.
This week’s topic was honesty – When was the last time you were brutally honest with someone? And what was the result? Radical honesty is something many of us struggle with, however biting the bullet and telling someone the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth can often be the best thing for the both of you.
Our loyal rabbit-hole aficionados dug their way through these questions (and more) over the three weekend sessions. Here we bring you 3 insights we found beneath the sand…
1) Comforters, nudgers and slappers
When it comes to radical honesty there are different styles people can adopt:
The comforter – “I love you, I trust you, you can do it!”
The nudger – “I do love you, but have you maybe thought of trying *this*?”
The slapper – “Dude - get the hell over yourself and do *THIS* already!”
Different people tend to prefer different approaches. And, as many slappers know, varying the intensity of the slap (from light tap to a Dwayne the Rock Johnson-esque takedown) can radically alter the probability of lasting change.
2) Brutal honesty vs radical honesty
The line between being radically honest and being cruel is a difficult line to distinguish – how can you know when you’re going too far?
We all know one of each archetype – the friend who keeps it real, cuts the bullshit and speaks the truth, and is admired by all for doing so vs the other friend who could *just* do with a bit more of a filter…
Empathy is a big part of getting radical honesty right. For instance, knowing when to unveil your brutal honest can really make or break whether you’re being radically helpful or radically douchey.
Ie – if your friend asks you if their terrible outfit looks okay before you’ve left for the night out – your brutal honesty could save them a lot of embarrassment. However, if you only dish out your brutal outfit critiques once you’ve already left – there’s really not much they can do about it at that point in time.
Sometimes asking permission to be radically honest can really open the recipients mind and help the metaphorical medicine go down.
3) The bubble of BS
Sometimes, radical dishonesty can amass in our relationships over time. It starts with one thread of a lie or concealed truth that we harmlessly go along with, and before long it builds and builds until there’s no space left under the rug for more lies to be swept.
At this point – the relationship has become a false version of its old self – and here, a little dose of honesty can go a long way to help get you out of this false place.
If you notice something is going unsaid in your relationships, feel free to burst the bubble of BS and be the change in this scenario. It may be uncomfortable at first as the bubble erupts all over the room – but a little wipe down in a post-truth cleanup, your relationship will be better in the long term for the honesty, trust us!
What are your tips for radical honesty, and how burst your bubbles of BS without entering into radicaly douchiness? Email back and let us know!
Thank you for reading our #sandboxsummary recap – make sure to join us again next time to help our loyal sandbox afficionados dig deep into the rabbit hole on next week’s topic!
We’ll leave you with a sandbox idea of the day:
Quantum Truth: A state of mind where something is both true and untrue, and becomes more true if said aloud.
Good existence!